first blow

I didn't even get to blink.

Having left with none, I was forced to face the inevitable. The sudden gap, the lingering painful scent & the burnt blueprints.

Your choice was to give in. Mine was happiness. It was not an easy choice. And it was not without effort and fear. I called on my wonderwalls at strange hours to fight idleness with whispers of hope and the promise of better days ahead. Sometimes, when the pillars are not available, liquid courage keep me company and it spoke of things I didn't dare speak.

I consciously skipped the big humps and built walls around me. Walls that were needed to remain focused on the goal and to keep my eyes from being distracted by the sea of faces. "I'll open my pandora's box when the case at hand is over," I said to myself.

And now that September's struggle was over and done with, it was a surprise that what I kept hidden transformed into something unsubstantial, negligible. I realized that it is of no use to me nor to who I desire to become. I no longer see the need of dealing with the intense emotions of the past because the now is far more important to cherish. Yes, I can be shaken at times of uncalled-for updates, but I'm not and can no longer be stirred. Hell to the no.

So, I'm un-stepping on the breaks now. Life already handed me the green light.