stubborn & proud of it

"The first step towards happiness is always the hardest." - H. Carter, Shrink (2009)

I was looking at the ground that my feet are standing upon. Where exactly am I now? Is this halfway? Or i was so busy with flying that i hesitated to set foot on the ground --- at all?

I refuse to bathe in the darkness. I refuse to get lost in it or worse, be swallowed in its oblivion. I figured that there is no comfort in darkness but only a pitch black empty hole.

What's so wrong with choosing to dismiss the negative thoughts away that people are insisting that I should go through the process? The process. Is there really a right and wrong way of treading this path? Am I bound to fail if I skip the normal method that most people are using? Is getting pricked (yet again) by the same thorn obliges me to sip the blood and taste it? And what if I don't? Would the wound stay open for my entire lifetime?

I have said this before and I'm going to say it again. I choose to skip. Why? Because I find it useless not to. Because I have my life to attend to. Because I could no longer afford to get stuck there. Because I no longer want to see myself groping for nothing. Because it's not worth it.

So, this leads us back to the first question --- where the heck am I now?

I am on my way to serenity. I am on my way to having peace of mind and peace of heart. I believe so because I have prayed for it. And God won't fail me.

A few steps ahead? Halfway? I am not sure.

But this is me choosing to be happy.

And this is me doing what I'm supposed to do.

Living.

Learning.

Letting go.

& of course, LETTING GOD.